Bengie's Triple Feature Experience #2

My second trip to Bengie's due to its awesome value and to try their apple cider.

Hotel Transylvania

I missed part of this film due to rain but seeing a blurry screen for about ten minutes didn't effect what I was watching

An animated film starring Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg. Dracula (Adam Sandler) opens a hotel for Monsters so they can avoid humans. However, a human voiced by Andy Samberg enters the hotel and like any reasonable organism Dracula tries to get Samberg to leave the premises. All the classic monsters are represented: Frankenstein's Monster (Kevin James), Wolfman (Steve Buscemi), David Spade (Invisible Man), Quasimodo (Jon Lovitz), and the Mummy (Cee Lo Green). Again Adam Sandler surrounds himself with fellow comedians to try to convince us are still funny. Nice try (Except Buscemi who is great in everything).

The movie actually does have a couple funny moments in the first half, but falls apart in the end. I mean the second half is horrifically retarded. Dracula is introduced to the human world and humans automatically accept him and his friends without panic. We all know sunlight is bad for vampires, but an hour in the sun will only cause “sunburns” to dracula making his panic minutes earlier to being sunbuned seem a merit-less. However, the worst was the ending whereby there is a techno-beat singing number and Dracula starts rapping. Non-musical animated films that end with musical numbers tell me the filmmakers never had a proper ending. And if your film ends with Dracula rapping you obviously stopped caring about your own film.

This movie actually plays out a lot like Adam Sandler's filmography

Rating:

It started out good but now it is just bad.

It should be noted that Frankenstein's Monster is named Frankenstein because the writers obviously know little about these monsters except what they saw on NickToon reruns.

Pitch Perfect

Have you seen Step It Up or any of the Bring it On sequels? Me neither. Although without watching those I can tell you Pitch Perfect is the same exact movie. I have seen the first Bring It On and have regretted that decision more than the time a Nickelback song came on the radio and I didn't change the station. Pitch Perfect is about an outsider joining an a capella college team and taking home the gold as a result. If you are hating me because of that spoiler then you obviously don't know these movies have only two potential endings. The protagonist comes in first or they come in second by a narrow margin but still somehow break the spirits (read arrogance) of the first place team.

Let me also add, at this college acapella is the after-school event to join. What kind of pansy college is this? Are the students so horrible at sports that they have resorted to singing? I know I saw a swim team in this film but they must have all drown because there is only a brief moment that is shown. The one redeeming factor of Pitch Perfect is the character Fat Amy. She steals every scene she is in although half her jokes were shown in the previews. The rest of the cast is either weird but unsubstantiated or cookie-cutter.

The movie does honor “The Breakfast Club.” The “Breakfast Club” is an unintentionally great movie if seen through sarcastic eyes. Pitch Perfect tries to achieve this but ends up being bland sarcastic or not.

Rating:

 

I'll consume it if its free but you'll never see me pay for it

Looper

I never watched a time travel movie where the characters actually went into some kind of conversation about time travel and almost everything made sense. The only thing that didn't make sense to me is why they made Joseph Gordon-Levitt a young version of Bruce Willis (or vice versa) when the two people don't look alike. It would be like trying to make Stallone look like an old Devito. Wait, that sounds like a good movie.

Rating:

It's a good thing the best movie premieres last at Bengie's because if Pitch Perfect was last I would have gotten an extra hour of sleep.